Black Mental Health Matters + Resources

Our therapists at Davidson Family Therapy stepped back from contributing media content in order to take the time to listen and reflect on the melanated voices of our country.  I have not only become aware of aspects I can refine in my personal life to be more actively anti-racist, but also have opened my eyes to ways I can incorporate anti-racism into my work as a therapist. Multicultural understanding is incorporated into every accredited counseling program and taking a multicultural perspective when working with our clients has been ingrained in our treatment as therapists, so it could be easy for therapists to think we are well-equipped to empathize with BIPOC experiences… but this thought process is far from true. After taking some time to fully listen it is clear that the journey to better understanding the systemic racism and generational trauma experienced by people of color can never be fully understood, thus the journey to understanding should never end.

Also what has come to light in our community of therapists is the difference between being “multiculturally competent” and “actively anti-racist” are two separate concepts. Essentially, “multiculturalism” is understanding and respecting cultural differences, including the cultural differences and experiences of people of color. “Anti-racism” is understanding the differences, seeing the injustices, and doing something about it. I often equate empathy to a verb, elaborating that if we were to truly understand another’s feeling, it should be so intensely uncomfortable that we should feel compelled to do something about it, which does not exclude multiculturalism. While I could never fully understand the experiences of BIPOC communities, I do understand that they have endured injustices that are so deeply ingrained into the inner-workings of our country that it is going to take uniting as a community to reconstruct a system that supports, protects, and serves all people of color equally, which is why I stand as an ally.

Allyship is defined as a “lifelong process of building relationships based on trust, consistency, and accountability with marginalized individuals and/or groups of people.” Allyship is the ongoing balance of learning, growing, promoting change. In response to this new awareness of the importance of taking multiculturalism a step further- being anti-racist, I have enrolled in trainings to broaden my understanding and sharpen my skills to further my competence in how I can introduce allyship into my work as a therapist.

One aspect I have taken away from diving deeper into the narratives of the black community is the understanding that some people of color may understandably desire a therapist that has walked a similar path as them. No matter the amount of training I could- and will, have, I could never fit into those shoes, and that is okay. It is understandable that some people may wish to see a reflection of themselves in their therapist, and it should not be such a hunt for them to find someone who has a similar cultural background as them. This is why we have compiled a list of resources that help people of color search for therapists from a directory of therapists who have specific trainings and backgrounds that equip them to address the mental health issues of people of color.

We at Davidson Family Therapy work with all communities of color, and will continue on the never-ending path of educating ourselves on ways to strengthen our skills, but we do understand that we are not always the right fit for everyone. Our wish is for this list to encourage people of color in need of therapy to seek it out, through the comfort of directories filled with therapists specifically trained and equipped to meet their needs.

1.       Therapy for Black Girls: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/

2.       Therapy for Black Men: https://therapyforblackmen.org/find-a-therapist/

3.       Therapy for Queer and Trans People of Color: https://www.nqttcn.com/directory

4.       Therapy for Queer People of Color: https://therapyforqpoc.com/qpoc-therapist-directory-1#!directory

5.       Funding for Therapy for Black women and girls: https://thelovelandfoundation.org/loveland-therapy-fund/

While we will always be a resource for our community- no matter the color, we hope this list could help expand options for every person of color find a therapist best suited for them.

Thank You Medical Providers & First Responders!! **Giveaway Closed**

We are beyond grateful for the medical providers and first responders who have been so selfless and brave in response to the pandemic. They have been the crucial piece to flattening the curve and have been the reason for the thousands of those who have recovered from COVID-19. I’ve personally spoken with a few nurses in our community and my heart was shattered to hear they all have been working 12-14 hour shifts 6 days a week. Some are even on call to temporarily relocate to different states if other states become in greater need. These working conditions are brutal and unsustainable, but is what is required to respond to the current state of this drastic health crisis. Our team at Davidson Family Therapy has been astonished by and thankful for each and every selfless health care provider and first responder who relentlessly wake up day after day to care for the health of our community. Although small compared to the magnitude of effort they supply every day, we are excited to support our medical providers and first responders by providing them with a chance to win a $50 Starbucks gift card!

We understand that while they are busy tending to our community, medical professionals are likely are not surfing the internet to stumble across this giveaway, so we are encouraging our friends and readers to nominate a loved one who is in the medical or first responder field. Medical providers are encouraged to nominate themselves as well!

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Fill out the form for yourself, if you are a medical professional or first responder, or for a loved one who fits the criteria. By clicking “submit” you are entering the nominee into the giveaway for a $50 Starbucks gift card!

***Giveaway will close on Friday, May 8th at NOON***

The winner will be announced by 5pm on Friday, May 8th!

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*Entries are free and winner will be chosen at random. Valid entries will have equal chances to receive the $50 gift card. Emails entered will only be used for sweepstake purposes.

3 Steps to Diffusing Anxiety

Anxiety is Normal

Anxiety is something that everyone deals with, to different extents, at some point in their lives. We experience Anxiety as a reaction to many different things, a common one being uncertainty. It is human nature to find uncertainty Anxiety provoking. We like familiar and predictable, because things that are familiar and predictable are safe. No matter what your current situation is, COVID-19 is the source of A LOT of uncertainty, and therefore A LOT of Anxiety. A recent poll reported that 18% of adults in the United states are currently experiencing nervousness and Anxiety. It is ok if you are struggling to cope with everything going on, you are not alone.

As much as we dislike Anxiety, and find it uncomfortable, it is actually a healthy human response that helps protect us and keep us safe. Our brains are wired to seek out potential danger or threats so that we can avoid them. This way of thinking is primitive and helped keep our ancestors safe during a time when they faced life or death situations regularly. It was useful for them to think, “WHAT IF that noise I heard is a tiger coming near the village.” In today’s society we don’t regularly face life or death threats like this, but our brains are still wired to continuously think about the “what if’s. However, now these “what if’s” typically stem from internal threats. What if I loose too much money during this pandemic and I can’t support my family? What if this quarantine lasts forever? What if this isolation triggers my Depression? These “What if” thoughts can trigger and fuel our Anxiety causing us to get lost in a spiral of unhelpful and scary thoughts. Luckily there are things we can do to help mitigate our Anxiety and prevent this spiral from happening. The following steps can used as a tool to do just that.

Step One: Defuse Negative “What if” Thoughts

The first step when we notice these distressing thoughts start to creep up is to defuse them. Giving into those “What if” thoughts gives our Anxiety something to latch onto. We can’t stop the initial thoughts from popping up, but we can respond in a way that will defuse them. For example, simply challenging the negative “what if” with a positive “what if.” Or try answering with a “so what,” “Whatever,” or “Oh well.” You don’t have to believe your answer, but by responding this way you are defusing the anxious spiral before it gets out of control. Defusing the Anxiety provoking thought is helpful, but a general feeling of Anxiety can often remain. 

Step Two: Allow and Accept the Anxiety

The feeling of Anxiety that remains after the thoughts are defused is the physical sensation of being in a flight or fight state. When this happens, the best approach is to accept what is happening and allow the sensations to come, however they are. Anxiety is much like quicksand, the more you fight against it, the faster you will sink. Allowing the sensations to come is by no means comfortable, but doing so will allow the nervous system to naturally regulate itself, further defusing the Anxiety. It can be helpful to remind yourself that Anxiety is simply nervous energy, it cannot hurt you. What makes the Anxiety seem scary is our emotional response to it. If we take away the fear, the physical sensations of Anxiety are identical to being really excited (heart racing, sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach), the only difference is our perception of it. So…accept and allow the sensations, welcome the Anxiety to come, and pretend you’re excited about it. This seems counterproductive, but it works! The trick here is to not approach it with the intention of stopping the Anxiety, but instead with the intention of simply allowing it to come. 

Step Three: Fully Engage in an Activity 

The Final step in this approach is to fully engage in an activity. Find an activity you enjoy that takes your full attention and keeps you in the present moment. For example, call a friend or family member (avoid conversation about COVID-19 or Anxiety provoking topics), read a book, play a game, etc. This will keep your mind from getting sucked back into the Anxiety spiral, especially if the Anxiety has not fully defused. 

1. Defuse negative “What if” thoughts

2. Accept and allow the Anxiety

3. Fully Engage in an activity

Anxiety can feel very uncomfortable and scary. During uncertain times, like the one we are currently experiencing, Anxiety can be an everyday struggle. Approaching Anxiety using the steps listed above can keep it from disturbing our daily routine. However, Anxiety can be complex and difficult to cope with. This post is a simplified technique for mitigating Anxiety. If you are experiencing Anxiety that you are unable to manage yourself reach out to our trained therapists today.  We are now offering telehealth sessions to allow for therapy to be more accessible to the community. If you believe your anxiety is going beyond the limits of self coping, do not hesitate to reach out today and schedule a free consultation.

Creating Calm within the Chaos

Times are tough, to say the very least. And having to juggle working from home while managing your children’s entertainment and education makes things all the more stressful. As a parent, you might be feeling overwhelmed, lost, and helpless to your children’s cries of hunger and boredom. Now that we are two weeks in to self-quarantining and just received the word of no school for at least another month-and-a-half you may be inches away from throwing in the white flag and giving up on any efforts to make this season mentally and socially stimulating for your children. Would it help you to know that you are not alone? I’ve spoken with a slew of parents at their whits end and all have just about accepted the loss of any chance of the winning the parent-of-the-year award. We are living through a pandemic that hasn’t been experienced to this degree for over a century. Essentially we all have been dumped into a zone of uncharted territory without a paddle or a map. Thus, it is okay and normal to feel lost and helpless, because in a sense we are all lost and can only create a map as we go day by day.

One aspect that has shown to be helpful for families is running on some type of schedule and establishing a “new normal” for the home. If you’ve grazed pinterest or facebook lately, you have likely seen a handful of schedules professing to be the perfect solution for your family if followed minute-by-minute. For some families, a structured schedule could be the key to a less stressful home life. But for many families who have kids who already struggle with anxiety, emotion regulation, or some other type of challenge, the days may look less neat and tidy. When you have a child who struggles with change or relishes on consistency, your days may be looking rather upside-down right about now. Instead of throwing in the towel, I encourage you to continue persevering. And while doing so, consider this scheduling idea below.

Kids thrive in routines and schedules, yet their desire- and need- for power and control may cause them to be unwilling participants in any schedule you might throw at them, no matter how “enriching.” The sweet spot between a routine and their resistance may require a little flexibility and motivation. With this concept, I’ve created a plan for families to sit down with their little ones and create a plan that works for all parties. It looks a little like this:

1.Clearly lay out all expectations and hopes for each day. In handout 1, you will find a section for parents to list of all academic and living expectations that they have. Concurrently, there is a space for children to voice their hopes and expectations for this time as well. It is important to give your child the respected space to voice their thoughts and feelings and to help them feel heard. Anyone is a lot more willing when they feel heard and respected. You can find an example of handout 1 here.

2.Explain your reasoning behind your list of expectations and check in with your children’s emotions regarding your expectations. The list will likely look daunting to a child, but explaining that everything on the list is what has always been done, just written out, may help children to ease their hesitations.

3.Likewise, validate your children’s hopes and expectations and encourage a collaborative discussion regarding the content. When kids heard that school would be out for over a month, I imagine their thoughts went straight to summer or winter break. They may have expected to have hardly any rules or expectations and created their own ideas for filling their days. Giving them the space to feel heard and allowing them to write down their ideas will help them to feel as though they are important and are considered when making a schedule. Do not jump to saying “no” immediately to some of their ideas, but if they do have some outlandish hopes, help them to process why they may not be possible.

4.Create a schedule that works for both you and your children. Don’t forget that your children are the ones who are actually following the schedule you create. Because they are the key player, they need to have a role in creating the schedule that dictates their day. Handout 2 is a schedule template for you all to insert all- or most- of the items previously written on Handout 1. The left side likely includes a lot of the parents’ expectations, while the right side sprinkles in your children’s hopes and desires. This layout encourages a balance between both sides and helps both parties to feel heard and included. You can find an example of handout 2 here.

5.Keep in mind your children’s abilities and have reasonable expectations. Each section should only include up to an hour and a half worth of expectations before children receive and experience a reward. If you are feeling a bit disgruntled about the idea of “rewarding” your child for completing already-expected tasks, consider the experiences on the right as the light at the end of the tunnel for each section of the day. Everyone needs a little respite sprinkled throughout their day, and your kids are no exception. Consider the example I drafted and you will see that a lot of the “rewards” are fairly reasonable break activities.

6.Implement the schedule in a relaxed and power-struggle free way. How you enforce the schedule is more important than the schedule itself. After the schedule has been made and both parties are more or less content, you may continue to experience push-back regarding the initiation and completion of some of your expectations. This is where the “reward” side becomes your friend- if a child does not wish to complete something on the left, they are accepting that they are sacrificing the reward on the right. At the end of the day, everything on the left still has to get done, but how your children choose to complete the tasks- whether willing or completely unwilling- determines whether or not they will be able to participate in their rewarded activities. Typically, the loss of a reward will be an encouragement enough to do the necessary tasks.

This isn’t a completely fool-proof plan, but it does hit a lot of the elements that could help allow the days to be smoother and feel like less of a battle. I have included “example” copies of both handouts as well as blank templates so you can customize your own schedule for your unique family.

If you have created a schedule through the provided templates and are still experiencing extreme pushback or unwillingness, there may be deeper issues going on. Consider reaching out today if checking in with our Licensed Mental Health Therapists could help your family create more calm amidst the chaos.

Links for handouts:

Handout 1
Handout 1 Example

Handout 2
Handout 2 Example

What is TeleMental Health and How Can it Help?

Davidson Family Therapy is proud to be offering Telehealth services for our current and incoming clients, but we understand that it also may be a foreign concept to our community. We hope to address any questions and concerns you may have about this revolutionary platform for providing and receiving mental health care.

What is TeleMental Health?

TeleMental Health is the process of engaging in mental health therapeutic treatment through an online, secure video platform. TeleMental Health involves a licensed mental health clinician connecting with and providing therapeutic services to clients in need of mental health support and help through a HIPAA-Compliant online video/audio platform. TeleMental Health is not a new concept, but has been evolving and refining as technology progresses and is now a nearly-comparable experience for certain in-person mental health therapies.

What does TeleMental Health look like?

The practice and platforms of TeleMental health are constantly updating as advancements in technology are made, but the bare bones of TeleMental Health involves speaking with a live Licensed Mental Health Therapist through audio and ideally video. Most Hipaa-compliant platforms facilitate video conferencing, but some go further and provide interactive elements such as a collaborative whiteboard or handout sharing. Mental Health Therapists are trained to operate in a quiet and confidential setting, void of interruptions or people within ear-shot. Tele Therapists encourage their clients to set up a laptop or table with video access in a quiet and private setting in their homes. Clients are typically given a link to open which will give them access to the confidential video conference. Most platforms do not require clients to create a log in or profile, but some may ask for a client to input their name and basic identifying information for therapists to know who is entering the video. Sessions typically last for the standard 50 minutes but may be adjusted based on the specific needs and capabilities of the client. In order for TeleMental Health to work, both parties need reliable internet access. In cases where reliable internet is not accessible, speaking on the phone may be permitted on a case-by-case basis.

Is TeleMental Health Confidential?

Confidentiality is the state of keeping and maintaining privacy and is the foundational element to mental health therapy that helps clients to feel safe to explore their deepest thoughts, worries, memories, and struggles. Therapists are bound by ethics and the law to maintain confidentiality so long as everyone is physically safe, with a few exceptions involving judge orders and parental rights. Because of the importance of confidentiality, health care companies have developed platforms that align with standards of the national HIPAA Act, which is a legal regulation that establishes the protection of every individual’s personal health information. Because of the HIPAA Act, therapists are unable to utilize less regulated platforms like Facetime and Skype to conduct therapy sessions, as those platforms do not adhere to HIPAA standards. Therapists who conduct TeleMental Health sessions are enrolled in a specific program that facilitates secure dialogue. These programs are designed to be user friendly and easily accessible to clients with internet.

Would I benefit from TeleMental Health?

Most mental health providers that offer in-person therapy utilize TeleMental Health as a “plan B” when faced with circumstances that limit or prohibit face-to-face interaction. Not all types of therapies operate best through telehealth, but many can be effectively conducted through secure online platforms. Licensed Mental Health Therapists are trained to discern which therapies would be most effective when conducting therapy through TeleMental Health. Likewise, a trained and licensed mental health professional will be able to help you navigate your struggles and decide if TeleMental Health is the appropriate platform to use. Many people do prefer in-person therapy, but TeleMental Health opens the doors to certain populations that are unable to access in-person therapy due to mental or physical challenges. Likewise, certain environmental or safety circumstances may limit or prohibit in-person therapy as an option, thus making TeleMental Health a great resource to have available.

If you are struggling with a social, emotional, or mental challenge and are experiencing limitations or hesitations to seeking in-person therapy, TeleMental Health may be a great option for you. All of our therapists at Davidson Family Therapy are undergoing trainings and peer supervisions to advance their abilities in providing quality and effective TeleMental Health services for you and/or your family. In response to the limitations and restrictions caused by COVID-19, our therapists are working diligently to provide TeleMental Health services for our community. Please reach out today if you or a loved one is in need, and our therapists can help guide you to finding the best fit for the care you need.

Kids Worry More When Kept in the Dark

The reality of the coronavirus is impossible to avoid. It is hard to go a few minutes without hearing the word or turn on the technology without seeing updates. While we, adults, might be overwhelmed by all of the talk about COVID19, children are equally, if not more, overwhelmed by the lack of talk about the virus. Just like with any major, alarming event, parents may feel daunted by the task of shedding light of this issue to their children. When left in the dark, kid’s fantasies are required to fill void of unspoken chaos around them, and the alarming thing is, their fantasies are often more terrifying than reality itself. That’s right, their imagination of COVID19 is likely scarier than the facts. In fact, I was speaking with a child and asked him what it would be like at home if a family member caught the virus. “Like a real life horror movie,” he said.

It is our responsibility as adults and parents to explain COVID19 thoroughly to children. Often, our worries of sharing too much cause us to share far too little, leaving many blanks to be filled in by young minds with boundless creativity. So, what is this fine line between over and under-sharing that we call “developmentally appropriate?” Consider this diagram below:

Let’s briefly look at each component to help you understand how to approach you children about the Coronavirus.

Do not underestimate your expertise on your children. You read that right- you are the ultimate expert of your children, and no one knows them better than you. You know their temperaments, how they handle scary parts of movies, and how long they carry their anxieties. Let this knowledge be your compass for how to share the facts of COVID-19.

So what do the experts of child development say about kids? That they can handle the facts when given a safe environment to process their feelings. Children will have big questions about the virus and even bigger feelings related to its real-life implications. It is important to provide a safe space for their feelings to be heard, reflected, and processed. Instead of swooping in and trying to “fix” their feelings and make them feel better, validate their feelings and help them to know they are not alone in feeling them. Take a minute to dwell in their feelings so they can elaborate their fears and explore their worries. Instead of saying “don’t worry” try and say “I understand just how scared you are. Everything is different right now and that is overwhelming, indeed.” Once they feel heard, they may be able to listen to some of the not-so-scary facts.

What facts should children be aware of?

1. Healthy bodies experience the virus similarly to the flu or a tough cold.

2. If we catch it, we will likely recover within two weeks and will feel better again.

3. People do not know they have the virus for a few days or even up to two weeks, which is why it is spreading faster than other colds and viruses.

4. We are staying inside because we don’t want to spread the virus, not because we are scared of getting the virus.

5. Even though kids and healthy bodies recover easily, people who are older than 80 or are battling an illness have a harder time fighting the virus.

6. It takes a community to fight the spread of COVID-19 and staying home and inside helps make sure everyone stays safe and gets better.

Telling children the above information will give them the facts to fill in some of the gaps that may have been festering in their minds these past few days. Help them to know staying at home is temporary. Validate that it is hard. Allow them to feel bored. Empathize when they feel scared. Encourage them through their challenges. Motivate them when it is hard. Praise their selfless efforts. Allow them to feel and struggle just like you.

If you find that your child is still showing signs of being overwhelmed after sharing the facts and empathizing with their feelings, reach out today to chat with one of our child therapists about other possibilities that may help them through this time.

How to Encourage a Thankful Holiday Mindset in your Kids

In the wake of Black Friday, I have been thinking a lot about gratitude. Our culture pays a lot of lip service to being thankful for what we have. We celebrated a national holiday based on the concept! And yet, right after Thanksgiving, we are catapulted into the most materialistic season of the year. In this post, I’ll be talking about how to navigate the holiday season with children, using play therapy skills to teach children gratitude through play.

The day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday sales immediately start peddling the hottest new products to both adults and children. In fact, lots of kids’ culture is based on needing the hottest new toy, from unboxing videos on YouTube to TV commercials targeted directly at children to videogames that constantly push in-game purchases. In a world where Thanksgiving and Christmas are so loaded with messages about needing more, how can we help teach children gratitude and help them to be thankful for what they already have?

Lots of the skills that are “bread and butter” for play therapists can be used by parents at home to promote gratitude in a fun, engaging way. Here are 2 play and activity-based tips to consider if you’d like to encourage your children to develop a more thankful mindset.

Tip #1: Give Your Child Responsibility

In play therapy, we talk a lot about “returning responsibility” to a child, which simply means encouraging children to do things by themselves whenever possible. Rather than jumping in immediately to help if a child is working hard to open a jar lid or balance a tower of blocks, a play therapist allows the child to struggle a bit and try to achieve the task alone. With a little patience, the child can usually do the task all by herself, and feels proud of herself for doing it.

Being responsible for an activity can also help children be more grateful for the end result, because they appreciate the effort that went into it. When children are given a job to do during family chores, cooking, and cleaning, they feel more thankful and take less for granted. Try getting your child involved in preparing his own meals, and encourage your child to work at assembling their new lego set on her own before asking you for help.

Tip #2: Less is More

Play therapists work with toys for a living, and yet if you peek into a play therapist’s office, you’ll likely find a small collection of traditional and fairly “basic” items. Having a mountain of toys in the office can overwhelm children, making them feel more anxious and unfocused, so many play therapists take a “less is more” approach and carefully curate their playrooms to include classic toys rather than the latest “it” item of the season.

Studies show that kids with fewer toys focus for longer and play more creatively than children with more. A study published in Infant and Child Development showed that toddlers in a room with only 4 toys showed more imaginative and advanced play than children in a room with 16 toys. The kids in the 4-toy room were also able to play with their toys for longer periods of time, without becoming distracted.

Children don’t need every hot new toy advertised on TV, or 100 presents under the Christmas tree. In fact, teaching kids how to make do with less might lead to happier, more grateful kids.

Tip #3: Focus on the Memories

A recent “meme” went viral this past week challenging the readers to recall their favorite toys they received for Christmas when they were between the ages of 4-12. The challenge continued by urging the reader to recall their favorite traditions and memories from the same time frame. The challenge was made with the confidence that we all remember the traditions and memories far better than the individual toys and items we’ve received for the past holidays. This isn’t a surprise as many parents witness their children discard their “must have” holiday toys in the abyss of the forgotten toys in the toybox once springtime hits. Engage your children in activities sprinkled throughout the holiday season to keep their spirits high and focused on what truly counts- time spent with family and friends.

The holiday season is intended to be a fun and joyous time, but the pressure from a materialistic society attempts to seep in at every angle, shifting focus on deals and novelties. Try not to be fooled this season by thinking a certain item will make your loved ones happy, and rest assured knowing that research reveals that your presence and connection with your family and friends is what truly influences a joyful holiday.

How to Help your Child with Back-To-School Jitters

School has been back in session now for a couple months. Maybe it already seems like ages ago that you snapped that cute photo of your child holding a sign announcing their new grade and teacher’s name. By this point in the year, many children are already fully immersed in standardized testing practice, project deadlines, extracurriculars, and other school activities that can be both exciting and stressful.

I find that this time of year, when the novelty of returning to school has worn off and a routine has set in, is often when I notice many children begin struggling with school anxiety. While it’s normal for most children to feel hesitant to get on the school bus occasionally, or to have a tough time waking up in the morning, some children’s worries about school become so overwhelming that it interferes with their attendance in class. If you’re wondering whether your child’s anxiety about school has reached a level where therapy might be helpful, here are a few questions to consider:

·       How often is the anxiety happening? For example, is it just on Monday mornings following a weekend away, or is it becoming an everyday occurrence?

·       Is your child complaining of physical symptoms, like headaches, stomach aches, or vomiting, that only seem to occur on school days?

·       Is your child’s anxiety response getting stronger or weaker as the school year progresses?

·       Have your child’s worries escalated to the point that tantrums or intense fearfulness are keeping him from being able to attend class?

If you found yourself answering “yes” to a couple of these questions, you are not alone! School is an extremely important, formative part of a child’s life, but the day-to-day experience of attending school can be stressful even for bright, resilient children. The increased focus on standardized testing and the added peer pressure of social media don’t make the experience any easier.  Here are a few tips to help support your child who is struggling with school-related anxiety:

Teach Relaxation Skills

Simple techniques that use the breath or senses to soothe anxiety can be used almost anywhere, and are easy enough that even young children can master them. Teaching your child to take slow, deep belly breaths (called diaphragmatic breathing) can be helpful, as well as helping your child to practice tensing and relaxing the muscles of the body, starting at the head and moving down toward the feet (called progressive muscle relaxation). It’s best to practice these skills repeatedly while the child is feeling calm. That way, the next time she is feeling anxious or panicked, she knows just what to do.

Try Bibliotherapy

Bibliotherapy—using a book as a way to introduce a topic and facilitate conversation about it—can make it easier to broach the subject of school anxiety with a child. Children may feel less nervous or threatened talking about their school worries when the conversation is focused on a fictional character, rather than themselves. A good story can add some much-needed humor to a scary situation, while also helping children feel less alone with their fears. School’s First Day of School by Adam Rex and The Pigeon HAS to go to School by Mo Willems are two of my favorites for approaching the topic of school anxiety with children.

Keep Attendance Consistent

This is the hardest advice to follow, but it might be the most important! When a child is in extreme distress about attending school, it is very tempting to diffuse the situation by allowing them to stay home and relax. Taking an occasional mental health day is not likely to cause problems for most children, but for kids with severe school anxiety it almost always makes their anxiety worse over time. By avoiding the anxiety-provoking situation, we are alleviating a child’s fears for the moment, but also sending a message to the child’s anxiety that school is worth being afraid of. The next day, the child may find it is even more difficult to get to class. Helping children face their fears is the best way to combat anxiety.

For more information and support on how to help your child overcome their worries about school, please reach out to our team at Davidson Family Therapy to hear about how our counselors may be able to help!

-Katie Lear, LPC

Neurofeedback- ADHD Treatment for Kids

What is Neruofeedback?

Neurofeedback is a form of brain training that uses electrical brain recordings to prompt the process of brain regulation. The feedback used to train the brain is directly impacted by the real-time brainwaves produced by the client. Essentially, the client's brain functioning controls a program in a way that informs them of their brain activity.

Understanding Brain Activity

The brain communicates through electrical signals, called brain waves. Brain activity can be measured through these wave patterns. The slower the waves, the more relaxed the brain & the higher the waves the more alert the brain. Below is a list of the different electromagnetic brainwaves:

How does Neurofeedback work?

An EEG (electrical brain activity test) device measures the user's brain activity through an EEG monitoring program. This EEG device is linked with a computer program, in which the brain activity can be observed and used to control the program. The program we use at DFT is a set of computer games that have been research developed to target attention development. The computer game is triggered by beta waves, when concentration has peaked. Once the arm band registers peak concentration it instructs the computer to perform the desired tasks. These brain enabled exercises train and improve cognitive attention skills that lay the foundation for strong executive function.

How can it help?

Our neurofeedback program allows attention to be concrete and controllable. EEG technology allows users to control all cognitive exercises by mind/attention alone. This feedback technology helps kids see and experience peak concentration which can help them alter their brainwaves, reinforcing their state of attention. Continued reinforcements alter the brain’s neural activity to sustain the beta (attention) state for longer periods of time. This process produces lasting change that will positively impact the user’s ability to dwell in an alert and focused state of mind.

What does it improve?

The neurofeedback program we offer is designed to target and improve challenges associated with ADHD, including, but not limited to, the following:

• Sustained attention

• Processing speed

• Impulsivity

• Emotional Control

• Memory (short, spatial, working memory)

• Filtering out distractions

• Behavior shaping

• Self-regulation & Mindfulness

• Delayed gratification

• Self-esteem

We are excited to offer a cutting-edge, research-based neurofeedback program to help children struggling with ADHD experience visible change in their brain’s ability to sustain attention. Our trained therapist will develop an individualized program designed to target and improve the unique struggles your child with ADHD or attention problems is facing. Reach out today if you are eager to see change in your child’s ability to pay attention!

Help! My Child won't Sleep through the Night!

One of the most common concerns I hear from parents is that their child is having trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or both. When a child isn’t sleeping well, it impacts everybody in the house. Not only is the child not getting enough sleep to function, but parents and siblings may also have their own sleep interrupted when the child wakes up at night or falls asleep late, making it harder for everyone the next day. Adequate sleep is important for our well-being, and kids who aren’t getting enough sleep often enter a vicious cycle. The lack of sleep leads to increased anxiety and difficulty concentrating, which in turn makes it even harder to fall asleep the following night.

Healthy Sleep
Sleep is especially important for children for a number of reasons. During sleep, kids release growth hormones that they need to develop and mature. Sleep is also critical for learning: it helps children to retain and store information they’ve learned, and makes them more able to focus and learn at school the next day. Finally, sleep is important for emotional health: sleep problems can contribute to anxiety, depression, and ADHD. Studies have shown that disturbed sleep can lead to symptoms of depression, and that depressed people who aren’t sleeping well are less likely to respond to treatment than those who are getting a good night’s rest.

How much sleep do kids need?
No two kids are exactly alike, and different kids may be able to get by with different amounts of sleep. However, The National Sleep Foundation has set guidelines to help make sure your child’s sleep time is in the right ballpark. For toddlers between ages 1 and 2, the Foundation recommends 11-14 hours of sleep per day, which usually includes a daytime nap. Preschoolers (age 3 to 5) generally need 10-13 hours a day, and may still nap. By elementary and middle school (age 6 to 13), it is recommended that children sleep between 9 and 11 hours a night. Helping your child establish a healthy sleep schedule that falls within these guidelines will ensure that they’re getting the rest they need to grow physically and emotionally.

Why might my child have trouble sleeping?
Many children have difficulty falling or staying asleep at some time in their lives—this is a really common problem! Here are a few of the most common reasons children have trouble at bedtime:

Anxiety: Separation anxiety—a fear of being away from parents or loved ones—is common in younger children and sometimes manifests as a reluctance to go to bed or a fear of being alone at night. Other forms of anxiety, like generalized anxiety and OCD, can also impact a child’s ability to sleep.

Media: Many young children have very active, vivid imaginations. This can be a great strength, allowing kids to be creative and great playmates. Sometimes, though, having an active imagination can also make the lines between fantasy and reality a bit blurry. For these kids, scary movies or shows can lead to fear at bedtime, long after the TV has turned off.

Behavioral Causes: Kids and their parents might inadvertently create a routine that has to be repeated at bedtime in order for the child to feel ready to sleep. The child starts to unconsciously associate this behavior with falling asleep, and she won’t be able to drift off until it is completed. For example, a child whose mother lies in bed until she falls asleep may start to link the mother’s presence to falling asleep, and soon this becomes a requirement for bedtime every night.

Physical Causes: Like adults, some children are naturally night owls and others are morning people. A small minority of children with sleep problems may have an underlying medical reason, such as sleep apnea or restless leg syndrome. If sleep problems persist or you notice any physical symptoms such as difficulty breathing, it’s a good idea to have a doctor rule these out.

Trauma: Rarely, a traumatic event can be the cause of disturbed sleep. Children who have experienced trauma often become fearful at bedtime, have trouble falling asleep, and are bothered by night terrors or other bad dreams. If the sleep problems are accompanied by other symptoms, such as bedwetting, tantrums, or anxiety, trauma should be ruled out as a possible cause.

How Can I Help?
Sleep problems take time to develop, and they usually take some time and patience to resolve. Anxious children often benefit from a bedtime routine that is consistent, predictable, and includes opportunities to soothe and relax before bed. Creating a visual chart of the bedtime routine can also be a good way to help kids shift gears and get ready for sleep. For children with fears about monsters or other “bad guys”, it can be a big help to talk about the difference between “real” and “pretend” and offer reassurance that scary stories from TV will not happen in real life. Some children are also very motivated by reward charts. Children may “buy in” to the idea of sleeping alone more readily if they are able to set a goal for themselves to sleep independently for a certain number of nights in order to earn a prize.

Sleep problems can be exhausting for all involved, but patience and persistence can often help turn a night owl into a more peaceful sleeper. If you would like more information about sleep difficulties, check out sleep.org, or contact Davidson Family Therapy to learn how we can help!

Sources: Sleep.org, https://www.todaysparent.com/kids/helping-your-child-sleep-through-the-night/

How to Help a Picky Eater

Many kids go through a picky eating phase at some time in their lives. We can all think of a child we know who hates it when his foods touch on the plate, or refuses to eat broccoli, or who insists that the crusts be cut off his sandwich…maybe you were this kid, once upon a time! For some kids, picky eating becomes more than just a phase and can develop into a bigger problem. These children may have a very short list of foods they can tolerate, or they may be extremely reluctant to eat more than a few bites at mealtimes.

Problems with food can snowball quickly, and are stressful for both children and parents. There’s no avoiding mealtimes, and food is a personal subject that brings up a lot of feelings. When a child rejects food, parents and children can be left feeling frustrated, hurt, and angry. Many parents also fear that their child is not getting the nutrition she needs to grow. Parents may find themselves bribing their children, cooking special meals the child is likely to eat, or getting into power struggles with their child over food. When kids are having these kinds of problems with eating, therapy can be an effective way to break the power struggle cycle and make mealtimes a more enjoyable experience for everyone. 

When is picky eating a problem?

Plenty of picky eaters don’t need help: they’ll grow out of this phase on their own. For these kids, picky eating may be a minor annoyance, but it’s not likely to be causing problems with their friends or family. Other children may need a little extra help to expand the repertoire of foods they can eat. Here are some indicators that children’s picky eating may be causing bigger problems that need extra assistance:

·       The child frequently tantrums at mealtimes, or cries when an unfamiliar or disliked food appears at the table.

·       The child has a very small list of foods they like to eat…and the list may be getting smaller.

·       Parents find themselves pleading, bargaining, or getting upset at mealtimes when the child refuses to eat

·       Parents are making extra accommodations for the child, like cooking special meals or allowing TV at the dinner table

What causes picky eating?
Figuring out the source of a child’s difficulties with food is an important first step. For some kids, sensory sensitivities are an underlying cause of picky eating. These kids may find certain smells, flavors, tastes or temperatures of foods off-putting or overwhelming, even when the rest of the family has no problem with the meal. If your picky eater only eats foods with a certain texture, avoids very mushy or crunchy foods, or has difficulty with foods touching or mixing, they might fit in this category.

For other children, avoiding eating can be a way of gaining control. Because healthy eating is so important for growing children, parents and kids often get locked in a power struggle over food. Sometimes, the more a parent insists that a child eat, the more the child refuses, which worsens the cycle. These children may be feeling a bit “out of control” in other aspects of their lives, and mealtimes may be one of the few places that a child can call the shots.

How can I help my picky eater?
Helping children develop healthy eating habits takes time, but it can be done! Studies show that children may need to be exposed to a new food as many as 15-20 times before they are open to trying it regularly, so continuing to offer a variety of foods can help in the long run. In addition to being patient and persistent, here are a few other tips to try:

Model healthy eating for your child: Children learn from the adults in their lives, and observe how grownups behave in order to decide what they should do. Show your child that you enjoy a variety of fruits, vegetables, and other foods, and let them see you eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full. Noticing that you are enjoying a “yucky” food might make a child more curious to try it himself!

Schedule (screen-free) family mealtimes: When possible, try to eat dinner as a family without distraction from phones or TV. Eating together can model healthy eating habits for kids, helps the family stay connected, and takes some of the pressure away, since the focus isn’t entirely on the child and her eating. While screen time might distract kids away from fussing in the short term, eating without screens promotes mindful eating and helps children develop an awareness of their hunger and fullness.

Encourage sensory play: Kids who avoid “yucky” textures in food sometimes benefit from messy play. Slime, play-doh, and other sensory-rich activities can help kids acclimate to textures or sensory stimuli they might be avoiding, so that they are not so overwhelmed the next time a mushy or sticky food arrives at the dinner table.

Counseling: Therapy can be a big help for severe picky eaters, whether they have sensory sensitivities, are locked in a power struggle, or a bit of both! Play therapy can help children reduce sensory sensitivities, work through their feelings, and expand the variety of foods in their diet. Parents can also learn ways to make mealtime a less stressful experience, and problem-solve issues specific to their child’s needs.

If you’d like to learn more about how to help a picky eater in your life, reach out to Davidson Family Therapy to speak to one of our children’s therapists.

10 Tips on Talking to your Teens about Vaping

Teenagers vaping is an issue that is seen on a weekly or even daily basis in our office. As therapists, it is not our role to parent and set limits with teen clients about vaping. With that being said, we do educate our clients on the facts of vaping as well as help them explore their choices, how those choices impact their lives and process healthier alternatives. As a parent, it is hard to have the conversation and set limits, because you are worried and likely angry. We hope these tips are helpful in dealing with a hard situation.

1.     Educate yourself. If you are not aware of what e-cigarettes look like, then I encourage you to open up your web browser and search images of e-cigarettes. It is possible that you have seen one, but not even known what it was. Learn about what it looks like and what it smells like so that you are no longer a naïve parent. Also, read up on the facts of what are in e-cigarettes and the lasting impacts they may have. It is important to spend the time to understand what your teen is putting into their body. We have found the facts on this website to be very educational: https://truthinitiative.org/news/e-cigarettes-facts-stats-and-regulations

2.     Find the right time. Timing is important. When a person feels like they are getting into trouble they often become defensive or shut down completely. Try talking with your teenager before they even start vaping. If you know they have already started, then talk to them about it in a non-threatening way, such as when you see another person smoking or you see a commercial. Don’t beat around the bush about them having tried it, just ask them. They can sense when you are trying to get at something, so just be honest and to the point. “I saw the post of you vaping, let’s talk about it.” 

3.     Instead of lecturing, have an open dialogue. Children and teenagers are often told what to do. “Clean your room,” “Finish your vegetables,” “Do your homework,” “Don’t vape, it’s bad for you.” When it comes to this topic, I encourage you to keep an open ear to what they have to say. Slow down with your child. They most likely will tell you what they have been told, which is that it is safer than cigarettes and that it is not addictive. Please, listen to what your child has learned from others. This is important information. You can correct them after you have learned what they have learned, but slow down and listen. By slowing down, you can help them slow down too. This helps teach them emotional regulation, as they are most likely anxious as well.

4.     Lower your tone. Teenagers are often times getting yelled at for leaving things out of the fridge, or not getting an assignment in on time. They can get used to a higher volume or a certain tone to the point where it becomes disregarded and background noise. When having serious conversations, such as this, make sure your tone is not threatening or they might become defensive or brush it off because they are used to it.

5.     Educate your teen. JUULing and vaping are the same thing. Do not let your child tell you otherwise. JUULing has nicotine in it and nicotine is addictive. While their brains are developing it is dangerous to start an addictive substance because, it can lead to them starting other addictive behaviors or substances. Drop the mic. End of story. One pod or juice can have up to 200 puffs. That is way more than a pack of cigarettes.

Your teenager might say that they get the pods that do not have nicotine, or that it is safer than smoking. Remind them that nicotine is not the only concern. Nicotine or not, they are putting very harmful chemicals into their bodies that they are likely unaware of. It seems like no one really knows. Ask them to think about how scary that is to think about. Remind yourself that as much as you have every right intention, you are not able to control what your teen does. Use this time to educate them rather than reprimand them. When they are alone with their friends, the facts you tell them are more likely to be in their mind if they were said in a heart-felt way.

6.     Set limits. Adolescence is a constant power struggle. I find that parents tend to feed into this power struggle by making everything a battle. Do not make your job as a parent harder than it needs to be. Let some things go, so that you are trapped in rigidity. Be strategic with what you focus on. Vaping is a bigger issue than leaving their shoes in the middle of the room, but if they are treated with the same intensity, your teen will likely begin to dismiss big concerns as just another thing you’re deciding to nag about. 

That being said, you are the parent and you are responsible for setting limits. If your child is already vaping, find the vape and dispose of it. Vaping in school bathrooms, malls, movie theatres, and other places where adult supervision is limited is most likely where your child is vaping. If you find out your child has posted themselves vaping, take the vape and throw it away. Do not keep the device, because your child will find it and use it again. If they choose to buy another one, then they choose to spend their money going back into the garbage.

7.     Be empathetic. When your teenager gets angry with you taking their vape away, validate that anger. They spent their money on it. Think about where that anger is coming from. Chances are your teenager is not vaping to be defiant. When I think about what comes with vaping it is deeper than mere peer pressure- its about peer acceptance. Your child wants to be accepted. One way to be accepted is to do what others are doing. If they have been vaping for a while now, they are likely becoming dependent, which adds another layer of agitation when quitting.

8.     Actions speak louder than words. If you do not want your child to vape or smoke, set that example. If you are a parent who smokes, then quit with your child, or show them that you are quitting. If you have quit, then share how hard it was. If you refuse to quit, then your child will most likely use this against you and continue to smoke or vape. That, “and look where it got me,” line might not work on this one.

9.     Give them alternatives. Vaping is a way your teen is using to cope with the many many many stressors of adolescence. Acknowledge that they are stressed, and this is one way they are dealing with that stress. Educate them that sometimes we deal with stress in unhealthy ways, such as vaping or self-harm. They might not even see it as a coping mechanism. Give them alternatives such as chewing on something to transition the oral fixation or going for a walk or working out. If you think your teenager is already vaping contact a mental health professional that can help them develop healthier alternatives.

10.  Keep the conversation going. Unfortunately, this is not just a onetime conversation. There is a balance between bringing it up every day and bringing it up once a year. Find that balance. When the time seems right, bring it up. 

Again, this is an issue we often see in our office. If your child is vaping, we are happy to help you learn how to set limits with your child as well as help your child explore their choices. Give us a call.

A Peek Into Drama Therapy

What comes to mind for you when you hear the words "Drama Therapy"? Many people might imagine performing a play in front of an audience, which could be an exciting idea for the more extroverted among us, but not at all appealing for someone less enthusiastic about public speaking. While some Drama Therapists do create and perform plays with a group as part of their work, there are lots of other ways to incorporate theater techniques, such as improvisation, roleplay, and storytelling, into therapy sessions with individuals of all ages and abilities.  Drama Therapy can also be integrated with other forms of therapy a client may already be utilizing, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, trauma-focused therapy, or play therapy.

The North American Drama Therapy Association defines drama therapy as "the intentional use of theater techniques to achieve symptom relief, emotional growth, and mind-body integration." Drama therapy is an experiential form of therapy, which means participants learn by doing, rather than simply sitting and talking about feelings and problems. This full-body approach can make drama therapy extra effective for helping clients to feel more grounded and to access feelings that are difficult to put into words. Drama Therapy theory draws from many other academic disciplines, including theater, psychology, anthropology, and the study of play. 

Drama therapy can be used to explore real-life issues, or can help participants to access feelings and think about problems through an imagined character or scenario. How can this kind of "make-believe" help clients in their regular lives? Drama Therapist Renée Emunah explains that "under the guise of play and pretend, we can--for once--act in new ways. The bit of distance from real life afforded by drama enables us to gain perspective on our real-life roles and patterns and actions, and to experiment actively with alternatives." Drama Therapy moves us out of our comfort zone, and allows us to look at our problems from another point of view. We get the opportunity to try out new ways of interacting with other people, and can come up with more creative solutions to problems. The safe remove of "make-believe" can also let us indirectly address experiences or feelings that might be too overwhelming to talk about right away in traditional talk therapy.

So who are Drama Therapists, and what kind of training do they have? Many Drama Therapists enter the profession because they have observed that theater and the creative arts are inherently healing activities. Making or performing art is a powerful form of self-expression, and by learning a new art form, people can develop a sense of mastery, create friendships, boost empathy, and strengthen self-esteem. Training in Drama Therapy is a Master's-level credential that requires all the requisite coursework of a counselor, as well as specialized education in multiple forms of drama therapy, professional theater, and completion of a supervised internship. Like other mental health professionals, Drama Therapists are board certified and adhere to a code of ethics.

Drama Therapy has been adapted to meet the needs of people of many different ages, cultural backgrounds, and needs. Drama Therapists can be found working in any setting that might have a need for integrative mental health treatment, including inpatient and outpatient mental health facilities, schools, shelters, early intervention programs, wellness centers, and in private practice. If you'd like to learn more about Drama Therapy, reach out to our team therapist, Katie Lear, to learn more, or check out the North American Drama Therapy Association’s website at www.nadta.org.

Say the Word

In trauma-focused interventions, therapists focus on saying the words that describe the traumatic event. Words that often cause a feeling of discomfort, such as sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, and shooting. Why do we insist on saying these words that conjure up such horrific images? Because words have power- the power to hurt, but also the power to heal.

Using the words that describe the traumatic event can be empowering for the client. Putting a name to horrific and elusive feeling can allow a client to gain a sense of understanding and control over her experience. Then the person can begin to heal, once he names what is haunting him. Changing the word due to feeling uncomfortable can invalidate and minimize the person’s experience of the traumatic event. Skirting around the reality of what happened enable the person to avoid healing from it. Calling it for what it is shines a light on it, takes away its control, and begins to allow the client to feel slightly more empowered.

 By using the correct words to describe the event, the power of the event is taken away. When we choose to leave the event in the shadows and use euphemisms, our feelings are forced to fester in the darkness. The euphemisms do not take away from the horrific event that happened, nor does it change how the person is feeling that experienced it. If we soften the way we talk about something horrific that has happened, we consequently soften the gravity of the experience as well. When the gravity of a situation doesn’t match the depth of one’s feelings, survivors of traumatic events are left feeling confused and invalidated. Providing similarly-weighted words to match the magnitude of one’s feelings provides that person with the tools to navigate such a traumatic experience.

If we allow the words of a situation to remain in the dark, they fester; but, if we shine a light on them, their power begins to shrink. Say the words.

Thank you for taking time to read this blog written by Hannah Rowell. For more information on healing contact our office.

Spot Light: Willow Equine

Summer is often a time of year for many people to relax and decompress from the year. Many people take vacations, and many people spend a lot more time outside. Kids go to camp or play in the pool. Parents take their kids hiking or lounge on the beach. The outdoors is quite an exceptional place to be during summer time. Though summer has come and gone, do not let that stop you from engaging in the beauties of the outdoors. This is why, Davidson Family Therapy, is happy to spotlight Willow Equine. Davidson Family Therapy and Willow Equine are partners in helping people in the local communities explore and uncover deep emotional connections to problems or issues they are faced with, or just allow space for people for various purposes.

Summer may be a time to hang by the pool, but Fall is a time to explore yourself in the crisp smell of leaves and horse hair. Willow Equine, provides a nonjudgmental space for clients to explore. Willow Equine, run by Katie Stankiewicz, partners with therapists in the community to provide equine psychotherapy, or the use of horses in therapy. One such therapy office that Willow Equine is partnered with is Davidson Family Therapy. Willow Equine is located in Mooresville, NC (one mile from Lazy 5 Ranch). This area includes forty acres of land, 20 horses and 5 llamas to be used in therapy, and other creatures (i.e. dogs, cats, chickens, snakes, etc.). There are a variety of spaces for clients to explore from green rolling hills, to enclosed forest areas with flowing creeks. If you or a family member are not progressing with traditional therapy, or do not want to participate in traditional counseling, this is a great place to discover yourself and get back in touch with your natural self.

Willow Equine uses the Eagala model. This model is a solution-oriented, and incorporates horses for mental health treatment, in which treatment goals, objectives and interventions are the focus. It is a ground based model, which means there is no riding or horsemanship involved. 

There is a collaborative effort between horses, a mental health professional and an equine specialist working with the clients.  After the time interacting with the horses, clients can reflect on the session, their feelings, shifts and patterns. Individuals and groups are given an opportunity to have a structured experience with the horses. EAP brings about a time to learn and explore oneself, problem solving strategies and interpersonal dynamics. This type of therapy helps people build self-esteem, as they move and interact with horses. For groups, it has been seen to be helpful in team building and problem solving.

If you are interested in trying Equine Assisted Psychotherapy, please visit Davidson Family Therapy or Willow Equine to set up a time for you or a family member.

Journaling: Make it your own

            If you have ever been to therapy, you may have been encouraged by your therapist to journal. “Why,” might you ask, "is journaling so powerful?" Researchers have found that the act of journaling improves your mood.  If you are tired of feeling emotionally tired, perhaps it's time to give journaling a try. What do you have to lose?

          Don't have a journal? No worries! Simply find a note pad, sticky note, tablet, phone, or computer and start jotting your thoughts down. If what is stopping you is your belief that you need to go buy a fancy lock and key diary, do not let that get in your way. You do not even have to keep your journal entries. Some people find it therapeutic to burn or throw away what they have written, to allow themselves to move on.  While others enjoy looking back on their entries. There is no right or wrong way to journal. You do not even need to necessarily write- you can journal can by drawing, writing poetry poetry, collecting quotes, or even scrapbooking from magazines. Journaling isn't about where or how you express yourself, it is simply the act of expressing. Ready to get started? Feel free to use these helpful prompts below!

1.     5 things I am grateful for today…

2.     Write a letter from the viewpoint of a scar.

3.     What are some goals you want to reach? How are you reaching them today? What can you do tomorrow? What is stopping you, or getting in the way?

4.     Today I feel…

5.     Critical Thoughts vs Compassionate Thoughts (on one side write the critical thoughts your struggle with, and on the other side write the compassionate thought of the adjacent critical thought.

6.     I am not my story… (write a story and share it with someone else, if you choose, to come to realize that this story is not who you are, but merely something that occurred.)

7.     Gather 10 Affirmations about yourself and life. (Examples of affirmations are: I am enough. May I be happy. May I be healthy. I am capable.)

8.     I feel my best when… (What are you doing at your best? Who are you with? What does this feel like in your body?)

9.     I feel my worst when… (What is going on when you are at your worst? Is there a specific thing you or another person(s) are doing?

10.  My favorite self-care things to do are…

11.  Reflect on your support system- Who are some people or groups of people who provide support for you? 

12.  Write/express about different emotions (Anger, Envy, Fear, Joy, Sadness) Where do you feel them in your body? What is going on when you feel them? When was the last time you felt them?

13.  The Miracle question: write or draw how you would like your life to be if you woke up tomorrow, and a miracle had occurred. Who would you be with? Where would you be? What would you be doing? Try to keep this as realistic as possible.

14.  Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself or someone else. 

Remember to write a disclosure on your first page, letting people know that this is your property and they can only read it when you choose to let them. It is common for people to share with their therapist what they have done in their journals, but it is always your choice with whom you choose to share your intimate thoughts and feelings. Give journaling a try, and good luck on your adventure!

Spot Light: Project 2 Heal

Imagine, it is a Tuesday evening and you have just gotten home from work. After a day of meetings, projects and sitting in traffic, all you want to do is get home and relax. You are exhausted! You open the door, and your dog greets you in a way no else can. Wagging tails, big excited eyes, and sloppy kisses as you enter the door after a long tiring day.

One thing that dogs provide us is unconditional love. All we have to do is open the door and we are instantly greeted with love and affection for no reason other than being ourselves. Humans want to feel love and acceptance, and dogs provide that with little effort made by us. Beyond the unconditional love and acceptance that some of our companions provide us, is a service. Project 2 Heal is local non-profit organization helping people acquire a service animal and more

 Project 2 Heal was created by Charlie Petrizzo to help people heal in various way. Project 2 Heal breeds Labrador Retrievers with the intent of helping people heal and grow through the life of a dog. Half of each liter is donated as a service dog to people with physical or emotional disabilities, while the other half is sold in order to help financially support the efforts put in by Charlie and his staff. The mothers of the puppies may also donated to caring homes, once they are done rearing their pups.

So, how can a person who is not in need of a service animal help or benefit from Project 2 Heal? Simple! All you have to do is visit their facility in Waxhaw, North Carolina to enjoy and learn about the benefits this organization. The facility is filled with litters of puppies and dogs, for you to interact with. Please note that this is not therapy, although it may be therapeutic.

Project 2 Heal is an amazing non-profit organization that can help a human and a dog. While you or your family member, visit the dogs and puppies, you experience helping the dog train and get human interaction- an essential part of the process for these pups who will one day become service dogs. While you are with them, you yourself may gain joy, self-confidence and acceptance. If you do not believe me, check it out for yourself. Contact Project 2 Heal at 704-256-4056, or visit their website at project2heal.org. There are so many ways you can help these dogs and yourself heal and grow.  

Davidson Family Therapy is proud and honored to Spotlight Project 2 Heal, as well as volunteer time and efforts to supporting this organization. We encourage our clients and others to check out this great community organization and see how you can donate or get involved.

Seasonal Affective Disorder: What is It and 10 Tips

Ahh, the holiday/winter season- full of family gatherings, vacation time, presents, and fruit cakes galore. Indeed, “the most wonderful time of the year,” at least for some. For others, it is a dark and depressing time. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a “specifier” of Major Depressive Disorder, that is exacerbated during certain months of the year. While many people do commonly experience SAD during the winter months, it is not unusual for some people to experience “the blues” during the summer months. The key is that a person experiences an increase of depressive symptoms during certain season and then as the season passes, the symptoms dissipate.

In order to be diagnosed with SAD, one must have experienced exacerbated depressive symptoms during the same season every year for at least two years. It is important to differentiate whether the depression is related to the season, or if it is a more ongoing depression, because the treatment will be a little different for each.

According to Sherri Melrose, who wrote about Seasonal Affective Disorder in A Hindawi Depression Research and Treatment Journal, when the winter months occur and the sun is not out as long the brain increases the production of Melatonin. I n response to the over-production of melatonin, people may feel sleepier, which can have an impact on someone who is already prone to depression. Melatonin is commonly known as a pill you can find in the drug store that can help one fall asleep. Melatonin is a hormone that makes you sleepy, and most people's bodies produce this hormone on it's own. 

Melrose also states that people who get seasonal depression, like other depressions, have trouble regulating the creation of serotonin. Serotonin is the neurotransmitter, or neuro chemical, that is thought to play a key role in depression. Melrose found a study that showed that 5% of people who have SAD also had an increase of a protein that interacts with serotonin causing it to lower.

So, what can you do about seasonal affective disorder if your brain is working against you?

1.     Antidepressants- Make sure you are under the care of a doctor, or psychiatrist who can prescribe you antidepressants, or adjust your dose during the winter months. Different antidepressants will help with the regulation of serotonin

2.     Vitamin D- Since the sun is not out as much during the winter months, it is a good idea to take some Vitamin D to help counteract the lack of it you will be having during the darker months. Be sure to consult your doctor before adjusting your vitamin intake!

3.     Light Therapy- Sherri Melrose and many others talk about the use of light therapy. There are boxes you can purchase that will replace the lack of sunlight. This is something that you should consult with your doctor about. He or she can hopefully recommend one for you.

4.     Go Outside- Despite the cold and the darker sky, it is important that you go outside a few times a day to get a breath of fresh air. Do not let Amazon and the local grocery stores who have convenient delivery tempt you to stay indoors. It is good for you to get out, and although it is hard to do, you can do it. Of course, if there are wintry conditions, use caution before going outside!

5.     Lay off Computer Screens- When we were talking about light therapy, we do not mean replace the sunlight with computer light. Stay in connection with people by interacting with them in person, and get more involved in things like books or puzzles that are not on your phone or computer.

6.     Plan Ahead- If you have had SAD for a few years now, you know the routine. If it is hard for you to cook during the seasons that affect your depression the most, prepare homemade food a few weeks or months in advance, and put them in the freezer for those wintery days that are coming. You can even put a post it note with encouraging words for your future self. Make sure to tell your family and friends that you will need them to help support you and interact with you. Also, plan ahead trips that will force you to get out of the house.

7.     Be Warm and Cozy- Start up the fire, and if you do not have a fireplace light up some candles. Set a warm and cozy tone for yourself, whether it is by taking a warm bath, snuggling up in warm comfy pajamas, or a hot cup of cocoa or tea. Be creative and kind to yourself.

8.     Journal- We all tend to get lost in our thoughts, especially when stuck inside on those snowy days. Journaling is a great way to get the thoughts you get stuck on out of your head and onto paper. You can also do a gratitude journal or happiness journal and write 10 things you are grateful or happy about each day.

9.     Get Lost in a Book- Similar to planning ahead, plan to read a book that you have been wanting to read during the particularly draining season. Reading is a great way to momentarily escape, and is such an accessible activity for those snowy days.

10.  Counseling- There are several different types of therapy a person can try, such as Cognitive Behavioral or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Not only can counseling get you to challenge thoughts and behaviors, but it will get you out of the house for a purpose other than going to the grocery store. You and therapist can help you regain a sense of control over your body and emotions, no matter what season you are in.

We at Davidson Family Therapy, know how hard the winter months can be. We would like to encourage you to do some of the things on this list, make an appointment, and continue reading more on the journal article that this blog references, which is listed below. You do not have to do this alone!

Melrose, Sherri (2015). Seasonal affective disorder: an overview of assessment and treatment approaches. Hindawi Publishing Corporation- Depression Research and Treatment. Doi:10.1155/2015/178564